Beanie... You're finally here :)

I'm quite a traditional believer that agrees to only revealing your pregnancy news when you pass the 1st trimester. So, as I'm typing this, I won't be publishing my post now but will only do so 3 months later... Beanie, you changed my life totally. I'm such a happy mommy!

When we tried to conceive for 6 months and yet nothing happened, I was on the verge of giving up. I submit to fate that maybe there was something wrong with either me or my husband but could never get the courage to see the doctor for advise. Gone were the days where I will crazily run into the bathroom to pee on a stick, having tricks playing in mind that I'm carrying the symptoms and getting AF to visit. So we decided to let things flow naturally. I changed my diet, went back to exercising moderately and yet, nothing happened... until recently :)

Strangely this month, while I was busy with weekend weddings, I didn't notice any symptoms or so whatever. I wasn't even thinking that I could possibly be pregnant. The only thing I noticed was that my body was frequently tired (because I had to sew a lot of clothes), I had to pee in the middle of the night (which I thought was due to the recent cold weather), mad cravings for chicken wings (literally, I eat fried chicken wings everyday!) and soup (especially spicy ones like tom yum). That was all, I thought my body is just going through PMS cravings and I was even sure when my bloated tummy appeared during my period week.

So AF is suppose to visit me on 17th or 18th of November. But it didn't. And that's where I got suspicious and excited. I have super duper accurate and regular period cycle (31 days maximum) that I knew something was wrong. And I wasn't moody (which I usually will be when AF is nearing). My stomach was bloated like crazy that I looked pregnant, kept farting (sorry too much info!), body was warm all the time but felt cold, and I keep wanting to sleep. I asked hubby if I should test and he was against it, asking me to wait until end of the week.

When AF didn't appear on the 19th, I was quite sure we hit the jackpot. I told hubby that I need to get it tested the next morning, just to be sure if I can go jogging safely that night. Hubby accepted the reason and told me to get it tested the next morning. I think I was too excited that I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that I took the HPT and got a positive.

20th November - So when I woke up, I grabbed the HPT and went to pee.

...waiting and waiting...

"Eh, like got no 2 lines lei" and I felt disappointed. Slowly, the 2 lines started to appear. I stare at the stick again and turn it many times just to ensure that I read the results correctly. I re-read the packaging again to double confirm if I was seeing double.

IT WAS POSITIVE! :) :)

Immediately, I went out of the toilet, grabbed my phone, texted and called my hubby to tell him the great news. As usual, his workplace connection was a bummer! I couldn't get through him, not until I was back in the shower brushing my teeth.

I knew he hadn't read my WA because he asked "What's up?"
Me: Have you read my message?
Him: Not yet, why? Cause the connection is bad (then he paused)... Are you?
Me: Yup! I am pregnant!
Him: Syukur Alhamdullilah (I think he was in a shock as that was all he could say and we were like thinking what to do next)

So we arrange to get half day from our bosses today and I scrambled to call NHG to fix an appointment with a GP at Yishun Polyclinic. I even went to Watsons to get another HPT to confirm the result before our appointment.

Again, POSITIVE!

Heehee! Beanie, I hope you are alright, I love you Beanie. I love you. Please be safe ok? Mommy going to see a GP later :)

21 November - Beanie, today Mommy and Daddy had appointment with KK Hospital to do the first scan. Daddy has been extra nice to Mummy because he wants you to grow well :)

We woke and get ready, excited for our first scan. We took the train to Novena, had lunch (by the way, I didn't eat chicken wing today!) and took the shuttle bus to KK Hospital.

See? Mommy too excited that Mummy's hair is like a mad woman!

Waiting for our turn :)

Happiness!

Daddy with Babycare package. Hehe.

I had to go through a routine test (urine again!) and went to AMC for ultrasound scan. as the 2 doctors asked me to lie down, one of them start to use a roller stick (which looks like a bigger version of rolled-on deodorant! hahaha) and start pressing down hard onto my womb to scan for Beanie. But we couldn't detect Beanie as it's too early into the pregnancy. I was only going to 5 weeks pregnant. Next thing they told made me squirmed with fear. They had to do the scan through my vagina! WTF!
I tell you, that thing is as big as a dildo. Not that I have one before, it's just that I saw it before. I'm serious. So while the doctor did their work, I saw 1 black dot, winking at me from the monitor screen. Doctor couldn't confirm if that was Beanie but they say it could be possible. So when the scan ended, we were required to meet the doctor.

As I was seated in the doctor's room, I was excited to know if Beanie is ok. But... what came next made my eyes teared.

Doc: We couldn't find your baby in your womb however, it is confirm that you are pregnant. There are 3 possibilities, (1) the baby is healthy and growing well but as it's only 5 weeks, so that was probably why we couldn't detect it. (2) the baby is growing but not at the right place. It could be growing outside your womb, at the fallopian tubes or elsewhere. (3)....
(I couldn't register the rest because I was too upset).

The next thing I knew, they send me for blood test and scheduled me for another blood test this Sunday to check some HCG shit. I was petrified with needles and my face turned pale. Hubby assured me everything is going to be alright with me and baby but it's horrible to hear such scenarios from the Doctor when I was so happy yesterday and sad next. I told myself to brave the needles for Beanie, that I will also do anything to ensure Beanie is growing well. I got through it and we left the hospital after making the payment ($86).

While we were at Orchard waiting for our friends, I wept thinking of all negative possibilities. I got a scolding from Hubby, because he strongly believe that Beanie is healthy and fine. I felt better after our friends told us the same, not to worry so much about the negativity and enjoy my pregnancy.

22 November - Today I woke up feeling glad and syukur to my God that I'm pregnant. I decided that whatever happens, I will treasure this moment I have with Beanie, and make the best out of it. So I went to the market to get some healthy and nutrients meal for Beanie to grow well. and made some vegetable soup - carrots, celery, potatoes, tomatoes, red pepper - a wholesome greatness of nutrient in 1 bowl :)

23 November - We got ready to go KK for my 2nd blood test. I'm so worried, probably more worried about the needle poking me. Haha!

 

So when I entered the room, the SN told me to surrender my left hand and I felt weak suddenly. My left arm has always been the weaker one and I wonder if it can take the turmoil (drama mama sia!). SN said my veins are thin and it was easier to find it and poke. Get it over and done with will you? I don't need to imagine that my veins are so thin with lots of blood running underneath it. Bleah.

 

This time, it hurts like a bitch. Yea, it hurts more than the 1st blood test.

 

We had to roam around the hospital for 2 hours to wait for my blood test review. We met up with Dr Junjie and I was quite turned off by his first assumption, saying that why I had missed my 1st scan last Friday. I did come didn't I? Come on Doctors, please check your records... So he said my HCG level were high, which is good (Syukur Alhamdullilah) and said that the baby should be able to be detected by U/S. And he got me to lie down to do abdominal scan. I was quite excited but not until he say, "We can't see it so we have to do a vaginal scan." AGAIN!!!!

 

And he is a MALE. Omg, I was so embarrassed.

 

Well, the whole process went quite uncomfortably but he was nice, showing me the baby sac. He pointed that the baby yolk is still too small to be seen, and there isn't any heartbeat yet. I didn't get it and asked, "So the baby is there right?". He said yes. Phew!! And best is, he said there is no problem for me to go for my 2 holiday trips in December. Yippee!

24 November - Beanie, today Mommy have to go to work. It's such a drag you know, but Mommy will endure this for you baby.

25 November - Beanie, Mommy stress for my presentation tomorrow to the CEO. And Daddy coming back home late, so can't be there for me while I'm stressed out at home. Beanie, Mommy so happy to have you so that I can share my thoughts with you.

26 November - Today I needed to make a presentation to my CEO for some approval for 2015 plans. Each time he comes to Singapore, I will tense up and feel so afraid. I knew what I had to present but I wasn't confident of myself. I think I was too stressed that Beanie was so upset, and gave me cramps on and off the whole day. I'm sorry Beanie, forgive Mommy ok?

Yea! Mommy did the presentation well. And to add on, Mommy got salary increment! Hehe! Mommy so happy cos that means more $ to save for Beanie :)

I received a second good news that my gf is going Bali again with us. I was so happy that I set a dinner date with Hubby to celebrate this moment. We had Swensen's and my stomach was so bloated that the waitress asked "You looked very full, how many months pregnant?" Aunty, you trying to find out if I'm pregnant cos you find me fat huh?!

We strolled back home and had an early night. I couldn't sleep well since the pregnancy started. I keep waking up some time 2plus in the morning and feel refreshed. And yesterday, I had multiple nightmares, being paranoid about my Bali trip in December. Thank god I have Hubby and he woke up to ensure I feel comfortable, and slept like a baby.

Beanie, Daddy love us very much, you know? Daddy very tired, and want us to pray so that he get a better job that could allow him to spend more time with us... Poor Daddy, right Beanie?

29 November - Tonight we are suppose to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary in our castle. Initially, I was reluctant as I felt tired but decided that this day happens only once a year. So, the plan still goes on, as we prepared a cosy homemade candlelit dinner. Hubby was being supportive as he participate in the cooking :)

Dinner was sumptuous! We had steak, fried chicken wings and eclairs in the menu. It's amazing how the candle really brings out the atmosphere. We didn't exchange any gifts though because our anniversary gift from above came early this year :) Beanie, we are so happy. You are our most precious anniversary gift!

30 November - H.A.P.P.Y A.N.N.I.V.E.R.S.A.R.Y D.E.A.R.E.S.T H.U.B.B.Y!

23 December - Beanie, today Mummy and Daddy feel very happy! We finally managed to see cute little you in Mummy's womb. You are so cute do you know that? So precious little thing that I want to cry :)

You are at 9.3weeks baby :)

01 January - Today hubby quarrelled with me. Well, it's kind of my mistake but I didn't meant to aim at his head while hitting him with the piece of paper I was holding. In fact, I was aiming at his neck with the intention of hitting him playfully. But hubby was so angry that he took my calculator and slammed it on the floor. It was frightening. I suddenly felt terrified by the sudden outburst and started to cry, and ignoring him till the end of the day.

But as usual, as sweet as he is, hubby tried to console me and was nice to me even though it was my fault at first. Hehe. Beanie, see? we are lucky to have Daddy!

06 January - Today I felt cranky because of hubby's snoring again. I couldn't sleep well and my backache is killing me literally. No matter what position I change to, I still don't feel comfortable. Gosh, nobody told me that pregnancy was not easy!

Today, Beanie had a craving for long john (or me? hehe!). But as usual, halfway through eating, I easily lost my appetite and was struggling to stay awake. I kept thinking of every possible corners that I could find in Vivo City that would be good to lie down for a short nap. In the end, I went back to the office and had a good 45 minutes nap. I could go on but my boss was back from his break. Damn!

And did I tell you before that the office is damn cold!! It's like a freezer here! Thanks to instant Campbell soup that I was able to keep myself warm together with all the multiple scarves, jackets, socks and hand gloves I'm wearing in the office. Yes, I'm wearing all that, no kidding!

I just submitted my leave for next Tuesday to see Beanie again. This time round is to check for any abnormalities in the foetus. Scary as it may sound, but I have full faith in my precious one. Beanie, Mommy know you are going to be alright, don't worry! Mommy can't wait to see you next week :)

Today, I also received the sweetest surprise from Mr Hubby. He was suppose to reach home by 8.15pm and didn't until 9pm. I was a bit pissed as I had to wait that long before I could have dinner with him since I was freaking hungry. But when he got home, he surprised me with this! >>>

A specialised pillow for pregnant ladies!

 



I didn't expect to receive this from him as it cost $158 for a freaking pillow. So expensive lah! I have been complaining to Mr Hubby about my backaches which made me cannot sleep at night. And when I see this, it's like my heart dropped and I stared at him unbelievably. Aww, Daddy so thoughtful right Beanie?

Happy Mommy with her new pillow :) Say bye bye to backaches!

I love you so much Mr. Husband!!

08 January - Call it overprotective or just paranoid. But I just had a horrible nightmare that some kid climbed onto my stomach and start pressing hard on my womb to kill the baby! What the.....! I woke up in fright and syukur alhamdullilah that it's just a dream, permainan setan! On the way to work, I googled what could have made me to have such a bad dream and found out that pregnant ladies tend to have bad nightmares as they fear for so many things while awaiting for the arrival of their little ones.

I told hubby about it and he said "Pe je...bypass my dead body.."

Whoa, Daddy very protective huh Beanie?

09 January - Beanie, today Mommy received a notification from "Baby Centre" app that you are 12 weeks today! Happy 3 months baby! Mommy can't wait to see you next Tuesday. Meanwhile, please grow well, be healthy and a good little baby, ok? Mommy and Daddy love you!