Kukubird is out!

16 March 2015

Yup, from the title, you might have guessed it correctly. I'm expecting a SON.



My intuition was right. I knew I was carrying a boy but I just refuse to affirm my instinct and still look at cute baby girl pictures. But hey, I don't hate my SON. In fact, I love him more and more. My heart explode with love while looking at this scan picture. He is sooooo CUTE!

I'm feeling worried about taking care of a baby boy for the first time. The last time that I took care of a baby boy was when my younger brother was young. That was ages ago. No doubt I have 2 nephews but I never had the chance to be close to them since they stay far away. So I'm pretty anxious on what to expect in caring for a son.

Secondly, we haven't decide on a name for him. Surely we have time left but deciding on a boy's name is seriously tough. I mean, look at the options available? Some names sounds too old-fashioned but with great Islamic meanings. Then, I also thought of what if one day, when my kid is a little bigger and I'm out shopping with him in the mall, how do I bring him to the Ladies? LOL. I will feel weird.

Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mr. Husband. You've got a Kukubird for your birthday. Haha!

Hey little guy, your mommy have so much to learn. But I've not love you any lesser after knowing that you're a boy. I love the way you kick mommy hard, because that's how active a boy should be right my love? Keep kicking and be a superman in my womb :D

Leah A A

Fear of Needles :(

I'm feeling quite depressed thinking about childbirth lately. I know I have to fear the contractions or rather the "giving birth" part more but no. I'm more afraid of the IV insertion, episiotomy and stitching! Anything got to do with sharp objects like needles makes my legs go jelly, I swear.

The fear gets worst at night. I will google for childbirth story and can't help but to read the gory ones. LOL. And shortly after, I get depressed and feel like crying. Hubby always scold me for that and he just don't understand why I am so keen in gory scenes and stuff since day 1. Hahaha! I can't help it, that's just me! I even have trouble refraining from clicking on gory posts on news feed but of course I try not to!

I feel like opting for epidural but I once saw a video on how the epidural was being administered which was quite horrifying. Needles are already bad enough but they insert a tube?! God, I can't take this or imagine that thing poking through my spine. How like that? If only epidural is as easy as swallowing a tablet or inhaling gas. Boohoo! I really admire those who don't fear needles at all!

So how should I handle the pain from the IV insertion and stitches? I want to cry!!!

About labour, I've never felt the pain so it's quite hard to feel fear for it. They've said it feels like menses cramp x 100. The worst menses cramp I had wasn't that painful anyway so I truly cannot imagine :(

Even the toughest mummy out there will say labour pain is the worst pain that is beyond description. Die la like that!

Some said doing yoga and brisk walking will be able to assist pregnant ladies to have a smooth and safe delivery. I'm starting my yoga classes soon and hopefully can find time to brisk walk around the stadium on the weekends. I hope I can build a high tolerance for pain and just treat labour like taking a huge dump. HEHE.

Sometimes I wonder, what I have gotten myself into. But I have never regretted once. If my mom can give birth to 5 children, why can't I? Each time I feel Beanie's movement, I feel a certain kind of happiness which I can't describe. It's wonderful. It can make you tear. The little bundle of joy, insyaallah, will soon be only mine to hold and love.

I love you, my child, even before we met.

Leah A A