Just thinking... Perhaps this is the last post

To date, many things have happened to my family, my friends and my personal lives... too many things happening at once that my brain cannot digest all of it...

I believe all these things happened for a reason, and that this is just a test from Him. He wants to know which path we have chosen in order to overcome the problem... For now, I just pray that my family will be protected from all evil, jealousy or hatred and overcome this problem in the best way as possible...

Insyaallah, this could be my last post in this blog or perhaps, I could be changing to another blog where only my closest ones know of. It's time to keep a close and small circle of social life, even on social media.

Leah AA

Kukubird is out!

16 March 2015

Yup, from the title, you might have guessed it correctly. I'm expecting a SON.



My intuition was right. I knew I was carrying a boy but I just refuse to affirm my instinct and still look at cute baby girl pictures. But hey, I don't hate my SON. In fact, I love him more and more. My heart explode with love while looking at this scan picture. He is sooooo CUTE!

I'm feeling worried about taking care of a baby boy for the first time. The last time that I took care of a baby boy was when my younger brother was young. That was ages ago. No doubt I have 2 nephews but I never had the chance to be close to them since they stay far away. So I'm pretty anxious on what to expect in caring for a son.

Secondly, we haven't decide on a name for him. Surely we have time left but deciding on a boy's name is seriously tough. I mean, look at the options available? Some names sounds too old-fashioned but with great Islamic meanings. Then, I also thought of what if one day, when my kid is a little bigger and I'm out shopping with him in the mall, how do I bring him to the Ladies? LOL. I will feel weird.

Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mr. Husband. You've got a Kukubird for your birthday. Haha!

Hey little guy, your mommy have so much to learn. But I've not love you any lesser after knowing that you're a boy. I love the way you kick mommy hard, because that's how active a boy should be right my love? Keep kicking and be a superman in my womb :D

Leah A A

Fear of Needles :(

I'm feeling quite depressed thinking about childbirth lately. I know I have to fear the contractions or rather the "giving birth" part more but no. I'm more afraid of the IV insertion, episiotomy and stitching! Anything got to do with sharp objects like needles makes my legs go jelly, I swear.

The fear gets worst at night. I will google for childbirth story and can't help but to read the gory ones. LOL. And shortly after, I get depressed and feel like crying. Hubby always scold me for that and he just don't understand why I am so keen in gory scenes and stuff since day 1. Hahaha! I can't help it, that's just me! I even have trouble refraining from clicking on gory posts on news feed but of course I try not to!

I feel like opting for epidural but I once saw a video on how the epidural was being administered which was quite horrifying. Needles are already bad enough but they insert a tube?! God, I can't take this or imagine that thing poking through my spine. How like that? If only epidural is as easy as swallowing a tablet or inhaling gas. Boohoo! I really admire those who don't fear needles at all!

So how should I handle the pain from the IV insertion and stitches? I want to cry!!!

About labour, I've never felt the pain so it's quite hard to feel fear for it. They've said it feels like menses cramp x 100. The worst menses cramp I had wasn't that painful anyway so I truly cannot imagine :(

Even the toughest mummy out there will say labour pain is the worst pain that is beyond description. Die la like that!

Some said doing yoga and brisk walking will be able to assist pregnant ladies to have a smooth and safe delivery. I'm starting my yoga classes soon and hopefully can find time to brisk walk around the stadium on the weekends. I hope I can build a high tolerance for pain and just treat labour like taking a huge dump. HEHE.

Sometimes I wonder, what I have gotten myself into. But I have never regretted once. If my mom can give birth to 5 children, why can't I? Each time I feel Beanie's movement, I feel a certain kind of happiness which I can't describe. It's wonderful. It can make you tear. The little bundle of joy, insyaallah, will soon be only mine to hold and love.

I love you, my child, even before we met.

Leah A A

The Growth Spurt

I feel like a fat pig, eating meals in between meals. My appetite seems to be coming back and I get hungry every 2 hours. Just earlier, I had kimchi soup with rice and as if that wasn't enough. I went to Pastamania and bought Chicken Caesar Salad right after lunch. I hope I gain some weight since my last scan but not too much that all the fats come right from my body. LOL.

Yesterday I had the most painful and scariest cramp in my stomach. I thought I needed to make "chocolate cake" and rushed to the toilet. While squirming on the toilet seat, the pain did not go away even when the "cake" starts coming out (sorry, tmi!). It was getting more and more painful that I felt like crying. I was worried about Beanie's safety and kept praying hard that I won't bleed next. I was too exhausted with the pain that even to clean my own bottom with tissue requires so much effort till I felt tired. I even had a sick mind to just wear my undies and forget about cleaning (but I didn't!) What's wrong with me?

After a good 30 minutes in the toilet, I went back to my desk and start to Google for more advice. Apparently, a lot of mums out there do experience this at 18 weeks pregnancy and it is common as this period is the period where our little baby is having growth spurt. Woah! So pain like that one ah? Then childbirth how?

Just then, a friend told me a good news that she is also expecting and she is 6 weeks away from me! Awesome possum! Now I have a friend to share my experience with, and even go to yoga sessions together! Yay! Syukur Alhamdullilah, I pray for us both to have a smooth and healthy pregnancy...

At night, Hubby and I turned in early. I was awakened at 2 in the morning because of a pain I felt in my tummy. Gosh, it was the same pain I had in the afternoon except that it's much more tolerable. The pain carried on for half and hour but it wasn't too bad since I could curl up in bed. I complained to Hubby in the morning and he said that his colleagues mentioned it was probably the baby growing bigger. Really?? I hope so!

Beanie, if you are growing and is healthy, Mommy don't mind suffering this pain. But, please2 be safe, because Mommy is worried sick. Can't wait to see you on 16th March. *lots of kisses*

Leah A A

Last Weekend

Last weekend was full of emotional turmoil for me. From being excited, to worried sick, then to happy again, and finally exhausted. I'll tell you why...

Hubby and I were doing some shopping at Courts for our new home and were excited with all the pre-CNY sales that they are having. I simply love shopping at Courts because of the varieties they have under 1 roof and also the delivery convenience as compared to other furniture shops. Looking at TV consoles, to dining room, to TV, etc., I was really tempted to buy every single thing! I know Hubby was trying hard to control his temptation in buying a TV but with so much sale going on, who can resist! Boys and his gadgets, hehe! Frankly, our purpose of going to Courts was to get some items for Beanie. My mom is sponsoring few items for her unborn grandchild and told us that we better complete furnishing Beanie's room. But what did we end up shopping for? LOL.

After a while, we decided to drop by IKEA to see what they have and I went to the loo. As usual, I slide down my panties, and sat on the toilet bowl and got a shock of my life!!!

BROWN DISCHARGE!!

Holy shit! What just happened? Am I bleeding? Why I don't feel any cramps? Is baby fine? I remembered I was trembling with fear. My only thoughts were on Beanie, praying and praying that it is healthy and fine. I rushed out of the toilet after washing my hands and looked for hubby who were busy looking at the sofa bed section. I told him what happened and we gave KK Hospital a call (they charge $0.80 per minute, like wtf!) and I was told to come to the 24hrs clinic at KK.

Off we went to KK in a cab and throughout the journey, I couldn't think straight. Hubby started to look for clues what could have happened from the internet and assured me that many other pregnant ladies have brown discharge and their baby is fine. I refuse to believe the internet! I need to hear it from the doctor myself!

The wait for my turn was horrible. I was so scared that I tried putting my negative thoughts away by playing Cookie Jam. LOL. When my turn was next, the doctor did an U/S and said "Your baby is fine. There's a heartbeat" and showed me the screen. Syukur Alhamdullilah! I thought that's it and then she said she has to check for any bleeding. I didn't know what that meant but I was told to spread my legs (luckily I shaved my pussy the day before!) and she inserted some longish metal-like feeling into my vijajay! Yikes!

She shoved it in even more and I yelped in pain! What the f***!!

The experience was uncomfortable and horrible! But when she confirmed there is no bleeding, I felt relieved and all the pain did not matter anymore. I was happy I could see Beanie that day. Thank God for letting me keep this baby :D The discharge could be just some old blood from my cervix.

Since all the good mood is back, we made our way back to Courts and continued shopping (spent so much on taxi fares -_-). After rounding a few times, we finally made purchases for TV, TV console, washing machine and bedsheet, and few curtains and blackboard from IKEA. Tired but happy couple we are! I can't wait for 11th and 13th Feb when our items will reach us.

Leah A A

Nursery Room is All I can think of now...

I'm really trying to survive as time ticks slowly in the office.

After chatting with mom yesterday, I can't wait to start decorating my nursery room for little Beanie because she is sponsoring some items to ease us financially. Initially hubs and I wanted to make it simple and easy, just placing a mattress and recycle our Toyogo storage to store baby stuff since baby will grow up fast. Hubs ever mentioned that he only wanted 1 child (although he ever asked for at least 2) and that's because he is worried he cannot support the child financially.

So this could be or could be not... my only child (I wanted 3!!)

If it is, then I should take this opportunity and do up my nursery room like every other new moms right? Besides, what if I never get the chance to do it again? Hehe. I told Hubs this and he agreed to my reasoning. So there I have it, we will develop Beanie's room into a fully furnished nursery room. Yay!

As usual, I searched Pinterest for some ideas and found really cool ones. I've already found the type of crib that I like, one that can be convertible and fit up to a 7 year old kid. What's more, there are good deals for 2nd-hand ones in Carousell.

Credits: SGBabyMall

There's this Carousell seller selling the crib at $200. The retail price is $399 and she claimed that the condition is 9.5/10. Also, she is staying nearby my new place! Great deal right??!! *do the happy dance*

But I have yet to get Hubs approval. Piang! Prays that he say ok!

Anyway, back to the nursery room décor, I have started to imagine the room to be filled with strips and patterned curtain, buntings, crib, dressers, sofa bed or sofa lounge and carpet. Sounds like a lot of things but I'm definitely going to have it. As I've said, this could be my first and last! LOL.

So here are some ideas which I've gotten, all from Pinterest.

I love it, I love it! I can't wait to know the Beanie's gender so that I can fully determine if it's going to be blue décor or pink décor. One of Hubs friend got to know their baby's gender and his wife is about 4 months plus pregnant. Tomorrow I'll be 15 weeks, syukur alhamdullilah, but sadly, my next appointment will not have any scan done. My next scan will be on 16th March (by then I'm about 5 months), on Hubs birthday. Well, that's seems ok, like a birthday surprise awaiting him! Hehe!

Beanie, you are going to be so loved by both of us. But when we have to be strict, do understand us that it's for your own good ok? I love you, from Mommy and Daddy.

Leah A A

LEAH's Kitchen: Jemput-jemput Udang (Prawn Fritters)

One day, my mom brought back some #prawnfritters home from her workplace. I didn't expect it to be so addictive, especially when your teeth sinks in into the prawn meat in the fritters itself. Yummy! My husband got so addicted to it that he asked me to learn how to make it. Ok, Mr Husband, you asked for it, so you will get it :)

Jemput-Jemput Udang (Prawn Fritters)

 

Ingredients:

4 cups of flour

2 eggs

1.5 tsp of salt

0.5 tsp of ajinomoto

2 tsp of turmeric powder

1 large onion (blended)

1 cup of spinach (boiled and cut finely)

Handful of parsley (daun sop)

16 pcs fresh prawns (peeled and cut into small pieces)

Chilli padi (chopped finely)

Water

Instructions:

1. Sift flour into a large mixing bowl. Add eggs, salt, ajinomoto and turmeric powder.
2. Pouring in water bit by bit into the bowl, start mixing the ingredients inside the bowl till batter is evenly mixed. Batter should not be too thick or too liquid. Add water/flour to adjust texture accordingly (for me, I used a blender at the end to make the batter smoother).
3. Add onion, spinach, parsley, prawns and chilli padi into the batter. Mix evenly again.
4. Pour substantial amount of cooking oil into a frying pan to start deep-frying fritters. Using a tablespoon, pour in the mixture one by one to get the fritter's shape desired (Mine looked flat, you can add self-raising flour to give it more shape).
5. Deep fry fritter till it turn golden brown and crisp. Serve with chilli sauce.

LEAH's Kitchen: Beef Roti John

I was thinking of what to do with my balance minced beef and the thought of my mom's #rotijohn came into my mind. So here it goes...

Beef Roti John

Ingredients:

1 x onion (chopped)

500gm minced beef

3 x French loaf

Pepper

1 tsp of salt

1/2 tsp of ajinomoto

4 x eggs

4 x stalks red chilli (sliced thinly)

A bunch of Daun sop (chopped finely)

 

Instructions:

1. In a mixer bowl, mixed all ingredients except French loaf until the filling is evenly mixed.

2. Cut French loaf into half, then halve it through the centre to spread the filling.

3. Spread generous amount of meat fillings onto the loaf.

4. Heat some oil in a flat pan. With the filling faced down, placed the loaf onto the pan and keep pressing on it to cook the meat. By pressing it constantly, the meat juice will be able to come out of the loaf easily.

5. Turn the loaf upside down and heat bread till crispy.

 

Healthy Rating:

I don't think bread is really healthy unless you go for wholemeal maybe. To enhance the flavour more, add cheese and melt or eat it with chilli sauce.

 

Beanie Update 2: Beanie is the size of a Lime

I shall spend my last hour at work now to blog. Hehe!


*****

We went for our scan appointment on 13th January at KK AMC to check for down syndrome that day. It was nerve wrecking; thinking of the negative possibilities that could happen! I kept praying and praying that everything will be alright with our Beanie and that it's growing healthily.

When we enter the room, my nervousness faded away. I was just excited to see my Beanie on screen and couldn't care less about what might happen. That's because no matter what happen, Beanie is the fruit of love from both of us, it's our child, my child. I will still love it no matter what. The moment Beanie appeared on the screen, I was moved with joy that I had actually saw it moving its legs and hands! Ya Allah, indahnya rekaan mu! Hubby was smiling all the way at the monitor during the whole session. LOL!

 

12.3 weeks :)

 

Hello Beanie! How are you? Mommy and Daddy are here to see you and we are so moved by you that we kept smiling while looking at the monitor. Beanie, how could you be so cute, with that little hands and legs moving? Mommy going to bite your tiny feet when you come out. LOL! Have you been listening to Mommy everyday when I talk to you? I believe you can here me :) Beanie, Mommy and Daddy love you to the max and your existence makes our life mean much more!

 

It's too early to tell the gender and we can only know it at 5 months. From the way I look at it, I think it's a boy. We've sort of decided on a name if it's a girl but have yet to come up with any if it's a boy. Boy names can be boring, trust me. LOL.

 

Our doctor told us that my pregnancy is a low-risk one and that I just have to continue being healthy as per normal. Whee! I've got clearance to start my pre-natal yoga sessions too which I intend to sign up for it from 16 weeks onwards. And another thing that made me jumped with joy was my request to be excused for work travel is being supported by doctor with a Memo! Woohoo! Means, I don't have to worry about pulling my heavy luggage, setting up for events and leave my husband at home for a week each time! I was so happy but scared at the thought of how to explain to my boss the next day. Haha! Yay Beanie! We don't have to leave Daddy at home!

 

Leah A A

Beanie... You're finally here :)

I'm quite a traditional believer that agrees to only revealing your pregnancy news when you pass the 1st trimester. So, as I'm typing this, I won't be publishing my post now but will only do so 3 months later... Beanie, you changed my life totally. I'm such a happy mommy!

When we tried to conceive for 6 months and yet nothing happened, I was on the verge of giving up. I submit to fate that maybe there was something wrong with either me or my husband but could never get the courage to see the doctor for advise. Gone were the days where I will crazily run into the bathroom to pee on a stick, having tricks playing in mind that I'm carrying the symptoms and getting AF to visit. So we decided to let things flow naturally. I changed my diet, went back to exercising moderately and yet, nothing happened... until recently :)

Strangely this month, while I was busy with weekend weddings, I didn't notice any symptoms or so whatever. I wasn't even thinking that I could possibly be pregnant. The only thing I noticed was that my body was frequently tired (because I had to sew a lot of clothes), I had to pee in the middle of the night (which I thought was due to the recent cold weather), mad cravings for chicken wings (literally, I eat fried chicken wings everyday!) and soup (especially spicy ones like tom yum). That was all, I thought my body is just going through PMS cravings and I was even sure when my bloated tummy appeared during my period week.

So AF is suppose to visit me on 17th or 18th of November. But it didn't. And that's where I got suspicious and excited. I have super duper accurate and regular period cycle (31 days maximum) that I knew something was wrong. And I wasn't moody (which I usually will be when AF is nearing). My stomach was bloated like crazy that I looked pregnant, kept farting (sorry too much info!), body was warm all the time but felt cold, and I keep wanting to sleep. I asked hubby if I should test and he was against it, asking me to wait until end of the week.

When AF didn't appear on the 19th, I was quite sure we hit the jackpot. I told hubby that I need to get it tested the next morning, just to be sure if I can go jogging safely that night. Hubby accepted the reason and told me to get it tested the next morning. I think I was too excited that I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that I took the HPT and got a positive.

20th November - So when I woke up, I grabbed the HPT and went to pee.

...waiting and waiting...

"Eh, like got no 2 lines lei" and I felt disappointed. Slowly, the 2 lines started to appear. I stare at the stick again and turn it many times just to ensure that I read the results correctly. I re-read the packaging again to double confirm if I was seeing double.

IT WAS POSITIVE! :) :)

Immediately, I went out of the toilet, grabbed my phone, texted and called my hubby to tell him the great news. As usual, his workplace connection was a bummer! I couldn't get through him, not until I was back in the shower brushing my teeth.

I knew he hadn't read my WA because he asked "What's up?"
Me: Have you read my message?
Him: Not yet, why? Cause the connection is bad (then he paused)... Are you?
Me: Yup! I am pregnant!
Him: Syukur Alhamdullilah (I think he was in a shock as that was all he could say and we were like thinking what to do next)

So we arrange to get half day from our bosses today and I scrambled to call NHG to fix an appointment with a GP at Yishun Polyclinic. I even went to Watsons to get another HPT to confirm the result before our appointment.

Again, POSITIVE!

Heehee! Beanie, I hope you are alright, I love you Beanie. I love you. Please be safe ok? Mommy going to see a GP later :)

21 November - Beanie, today Mommy and Daddy had appointment with KK Hospital to do the first scan. Daddy has been extra nice to Mummy because he wants you to grow well :)

We woke and get ready, excited for our first scan. We took the train to Novena, had lunch (by the way, I didn't eat chicken wing today!) and took the shuttle bus to KK Hospital.

See? Mommy too excited that Mummy's hair is like a mad woman!

Waiting for our turn :)

Happiness!

Daddy with Babycare package. Hehe.

I had to go through a routine test (urine again!) and went to AMC for ultrasound scan. as the 2 doctors asked me to lie down, one of them start to use a roller stick (which looks like a bigger version of rolled-on deodorant! hahaha) and start pressing down hard onto my womb to scan for Beanie. But we couldn't detect Beanie as it's too early into the pregnancy. I was only going to 5 weeks pregnant. Next thing they told made me squirmed with fear. They had to do the scan through my vagina! WTF!
I tell you, that thing is as big as a dildo. Not that I have one before, it's just that I saw it before. I'm serious. So while the doctor did their work, I saw 1 black dot, winking at me from the monitor screen. Doctor couldn't confirm if that was Beanie but they say it could be possible. So when the scan ended, we were required to meet the doctor.

As I was seated in the doctor's room, I was excited to know if Beanie is ok. But... what came next made my eyes teared.

Doc: We couldn't find your baby in your womb however, it is confirm that you are pregnant. There are 3 possibilities, (1) the baby is healthy and growing well but as it's only 5 weeks, so that was probably why we couldn't detect it. (2) the baby is growing but not at the right place. It could be growing outside your womb, at the fallopian tubes or elsewhere. (3)....
(I couldn't register the rest because I was too upset).

The next thing I knew, they send me for blood test and scheduled me for another blood test this Sunday to check some HCG shit. I was petrified with needles and my face turned pale. Hubby assured me everything is going to be alright with me and baby but it's horrible to hear such scenarios from the Doctor when I was so happy yesterday and sad next. I told myself to brave the needles for Beanie, that I will also do anything to ensure Beanie is growing well. I got through it and we left the hospital after making the payment ($86).

While we were at Orchard waiting for our friends, I wept thinking of all negative possibilities. I got a scolding from Hubby, because he strongly believe that Beanie is healthy and fine. I felt better after our friends told us the same, not to worry so much about the negativity and enjoy my pregnancy.

22 November - Today I woke up feeling glad and syukur to my God that I'm pregnant. I decided that whatever happens, I will treasure this moment I have with Beanie, and make the best out of it. So I went to the market to get some healthy and nutrients meal for Beanie to grow well. and made some vegetable soup - carrots, celery, potatoes, tomatoes, red pepper - a wholesome greatness of nutrient in 1 bowl :)

23 November - We got ready to go KK for my 2nd blood test. I'm so worried, probably more worried about the needle poking me. Haha!

 

So when I entered the room, the SN told me to surrender my left hand and I felt weak suddenly. My left arm has always been the weaker one and I wonder if it can take the turmoil (drama mama sia!). SN said my veins are thin and it was easier to find it and poke. Get it over and done with will you? I don't need to imagine that my veins are so thin with lots of blood running underneath it. Bleah.

 

This time, it hurts like a bitch. Yea, it hurts more than the 1st blood test.

 

We had to roam around the hospital for 2 hours to wait for my blood test review. We met up with Dr Junjie and I was quite turned off by his first assumption, saying that why I had missed my 1st scan last Friday. I did come didn't I? Come on Doctors, please check your records... So he said my HCG level were high, which is good (Syukur Alhamdullilah) and said that the baby should be able to be detected by U/S. And he got me to lie down to do abdominal scan. I was quite excited but not until he say, "We can't see it so we have to do a vaginal scan." AGAIN!!!!

 

And he is a MALE. Omg, I was so embarrassed.

 

Well, the whole process went quite uncomfortably but he was nice, showing me the baby sac. He pointed that the baby yolk is still too small to be seen, and there isn't any heartbeat yet. I didn't get it and asked, "So the baby is there right?". He said yes. Phew!! And best is, he said there is no problem for me to go for my 2 holiday trips in December. Yippee!

24 November - Beanie, today Mommy have to go to work. It's such a drag you know, but Mommy will endure this for you baby.

25 November - Beanie, Mommy stress for my presentation tomorrow to the CEO. And Daddy coming back home late, so can't be there for me while I'm stressed out at home. Beanie, Mommy so happy to have you so that I can share my thoughts with you.

26 November - Today I needed to make a presentation to my CEO for some approval for 2015 plans. Each time he comes to Singapore, I will tense up and feel so afraid. I knew what I had to present but I wasn't confident of myself. I think I was too stressed that Beanie was so upset, and gave me cramps on and off the whole day. I'm sorry Beanie, forgive Mommy ok?

Yea! Mommy did the presentation well. And to add on, Mommy got salary increment! Hehe! Mommy so happy cos that means more $ to save for Beanie :)

I received a second good news that my gf is going Bali again with us. I was so happy that I set a dinner date with Hubby to celebrate this moment. We had Swensen's and my stomach was so bloated that the waitress asked "You looked very full, how many months pregnant?" Aunty, you trying to find out if I'm pregnant cos you find me fat huh?!

We strolled back home and had an early night. I couldn't sleep well since the pregnancy started. I keep waking up some time 2plus in the morning and feel refreshed. And yesterday, I had multiple nightmares, being paranoid about my Bali trip in December. Thank god I have Hubby and he woke up to ensure I feel comfortable, and slept like a baby.

Beanie, Daddy love us very much, you know? Daddy very tired, and want us to pray so that he get a better job that could allow him to spend more time with us... Poor Daddy, right Beanie?

29 November - Tonight we are suppose to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary in our castle. Initially, I was reluctant as I felt tired but decided that this day happens only once a year. So, the plan still goes on, as we prepared a cosy homemade candlelit dinner. Hubby was being supportive as he participate in the cooking :)

Dinner was sumptuous! We had steak, fried chicken wings and eclairs in the menu. It's amazing how the candle really brings out the atmosphere. We didn't exchange any gifts though because our anniversary gift from above came early this year :) Beanie, we are so happy. You are our most precious anniversary gift!

30 November - H.A.P.P.Y A.N.N.I.V.E.R.S.A.R.Y D.E.A.R.E.S.T H.U.B.B.Y!

23 December - Beanie, today Mummy and Daddy feel very happy! We finally managed to see cute little you in Mummy's womb. You are so cute do you know that? So precious little thing that I want to cry :)

You are at 9.3weeks baby :)

01 January - Today hubby quarrelled with me. Well, it's kind of my mistake but I didn't meant to aim at his head while hitting him with the piece of paper I was holding. In fact, I was aiming at his neck with the intention of hitting him playfully. But hubby was so angry that he took my calculator and slammed it on the floor. It was frightening. I suddenly felt terrified by the sudden outburst and started to cry, and ignoring him till the end of the day.

But as usual, as sweet as he is, hubby tried to console me and was nice to me even though it was my fault at first. Hehe. Beanie, see? we are lucky to have Daddy!

06 January - Today I felt cranky because of hubby's snoring again. I couldn't sleep well and my backache is killing me literally. No matter what position I change to, I still don't feel comfortable. Gosh, nobody told me that pregnancy was not easy!

Today, Beanie had a craving for long john (or me? hehe!). But as usual, halfway through eating, I easily lost my appetite and was struggling to stay awake. I kept thinking of every possible corners that I could find in Vivo City that would be good to lie down for a short nap. In the end, I went back to the office and had a good 45 minutes nap. I could go on but my boss was back from his break. Damn!

And did I tell you before that the office is damn cold!! It's like a freezer here! Thanks to instant Campbell soup that I was able to keep myself warm together with all the multiple scarves, jackets, socks and hand gloves I'm wearing in the office. Yes, I'm wearing all that, no kidding!

I just submitted my leave for next Tuesday to see Beanie again. This time round is to check for any abnormalities in the foetus. Scary as it may sound, but I have full faith in my precious one. Beanie, Mommy know you are going to be alright, don't worry! Mommy can't wait to see you next week :)

Today, I also received the sweetest surprise from Mr Hubby. He was suppose to reach home by 8.15pm and didn't until 9pm. I was a bit pissed as I had to wait that long before I could have dinner with him since I was freaking hungry. But when he got home, he surprised me with this! >>>

A specialised pillow for pregnant ladies!

 



I didn't expect to receive this from him as it cost $158 for a freaking pillow. So expensive lah! I have been complaining to Mr Hubby about my backaches which made me cannot sleep at night. And when I see this, it's like my heart dropped and I stared at him unbelievably. Aww, Daddy so thoughtful right Beanie?

Happy Mommy with her new pillow :) Say bye bye to backaches!

I love you so much Mr. Husband!!

08 January - Call it overprotective or just paranoid. But I just had a horrible nightmare that some kid climbed onto my stomach and start pressing hard on my womb to kill the baby! What the.....! I woke up in fright and syukur alhamdullilah that it's just a dream, permainan setan! On the way to work, I googled what could have made me to have such a bad dream and found out that pregnant ladies tend to have bad nightmares as they fear for so many things while awaiting for the arrival of their little ones.

I told hubby about it and he said "Pe je...bypass my dead body.."

Whoa, Daddy very protective huh Beanie?

09 January - Beanie, today Mommy received a notification from "Baby Centre" app that you are 12 weeks today! Happy 3 months baby! Mommy can't wait to see you next Tuesday. Meanwhile, please grow well, be healthy and a good little baby, ok? Mommy and Daddy love you!